candid thoughts on changing

I've been thinking about change lately, specifically in terms of how a person changes over time.  This train of thought mostly started as I was thinking about one of my favorite bands, Against Me!, and how they've changed over the years.  As frequently happens with bands, their more recent albums have had a different feel to them and many fans feel like they've "sold out."  I don't know if that's the case or what have you, but it made me think about how people change over time.  How their tastes change, how their interests change, how their perspectives change.  When I think about Against Me!, maybe they did sell out or change their music in order to make a living, but what if they just wanted to move in a different direction with their music?  Would we as fans let them do that?  I know that I'm not making the same art that I did in high school.  But if I got famous when I was younger and people grew to know that version of me, would they let me change and become a different version of myself, let me grow?

Even with blogging I've seen that people aren't necessarily fans of change.  I was just recently reading a post on James' blog where she discussed the changes her blog has gone through in the past few years.  How her life has changed and how that has necessitated a change in her blogging as well.  But seeing someone change is hard.  We grow to like that person how they are.  We're used to Miley Cyrus' long hair, so it's jarring when she cuts it off.  We're used to a blogger blogging a certain way, so it's unsettling when it goes in a different direction.  I think this even happens with people we know.  We're used to seeing them a certain way, so if they decide to make a lifestyle change or something of the sort, we can get upset by it.

Like James' blog, and unlike a strictly "fashion" blog,  Delightfully Tacky incorporates so much of my life (even if most of my posts are outfit posts), and so it's unavoidable that change on the blog will occur.  For instance, I'll probably become a mom someday in the (distant) future.  While I have no current desire for Delightfully Tacky to become a "mommy blog," what do I know about what life will be like at that point?  Maybe motherhood will be something I have a lot to say about, and I don't want to keep from sharing my thoughts and life for fear of losing followers who are disappointed that my blog isn't the same blog they were reading before.

Sometimes we just put too much stock in our own importance.  "That person shouldn't change because I liked them the way they were!" It's obvious how arrogant that thinking is when it's said like that.  Whenever I hear people say, "Never change!" I feel like it's such a harmful thing to say (though I understand what it meant by that statement).  Growth only happens through change.  When you push yourself out of your comfort zone.  I'm glad I'm not the same person I was in high school or college.  Not that there was anything terribly wrong with me back then, but I'm glad I've grown into who I am now.  And I'll be glad to have grown into future-me.  I have no desire to become stagnant.

This is not to say that change is always a good thing.  There is bad change as well.  Some bands really do sell out.  Some blogging really does change for the dishonest reasons.  Some people really do make bad lifestyle decisions.  It's part of the journey, though.  I've made bad life decisions before, and I've grown because of it.  I would even say that most of the growth that I've experienced is due to poor decisions, and learning from them.  As Alexander Pope said, "To err is human; to forgive, divine".

I'm going to change.  I have changed.  The me who started this blog almost five years ago isn't the same me who is writing it now.  I have strong resemblances to that girl.  I like her.  We have similar characteristics and a lot of who I am at my core is completely the same.  Life is change, though.  My situation now is completely different than what 22 year old version of me was dealing with.  My situation is even completely different than 25 year old version of me!  I liked what my life was then, but my life couldn't stay in that situation forever.  Forward motion must be made and I'm excited to move in that direction!

To be honest, Against Me!'s earlier albums are my favorite, but I'm still excited to see where they go with their music.  Perhaps it won't be as honed to my particular taste, but I'd rather see them making music that they enjoy making and that brings them joy in the making of it, than for them to forever be making music that I like.