life lately

Sunday is one of my favorite days.  Dan has work off and we get to hang out all day and relax.  Sometimes we go out for brunch, sometimes he makes breakfast.  Multiple cups of coffee are always involved.  Life seems to move slower on Sundays.  Even on these shorter winter days, the sun seems to move through the sky slowly, lingering.

Life has felt a little disjointed lately.  Even our home is a bit unsettled.  We got rid of our dining table so our kitchen feels odd with just some chairs, a side table, and Dusty's kennel.  I've got plans for making the space homey and cozy again, but finding the right furniture (and saving money for said furniture) takes time, so for now it's a bit of a mess.  A messy, unkempt home really does have an effect on feeling stressed or uninspired.  When the house is clean and put together it feels like a happy space full of life.  When there are piles everywhere and things are laying around in odd places it feels unsettling.  Hopefully we can get things feeling more like home soon.

Watching:  The Biggest Loser ... and Dexter.  I have to say, I loathe most reality television and the fabricated drama and incessant negativity, but The Biggest Loser is just so damn positive and encouraging.  I think I tear up at least once during every show.  It's a competition show, but there is none of the competitive cattiness or backstabbing drama that I see in other shows.  Everyone is supporting one another, everyone is rooting for each other, and we get to see people transform their lives.  Also, it's a great motivator to watch before doing my own workout.  I think my favorite contestant this season has been Rachel.  It's been incredible to watch her bloom out of the shell she was trapped in.  She's so vibrant and happy and you can tell she feels so empowered. 

And Dexter, well, whoa.  I just finished the Season 4 finale and... okay.  

Perplexed about: what's happening in the blogosphere.  For a long time I felt like my experience was singular, just my own personal experience due to changes in my life.  But I've been reading post after post from fellow bloggers echoing the thoughts that have been bouncing around my brain for months.  What is this sense of unrest?  Where is it coming from?  What is the cure?  I'm not sure, but the message I'm getting is that we all want connection.  This isn't surprising because this is what we all were drawn to the blogosphere for in the first place, right?  But now in lieu of connection, contrived content abounds, because that's what gets traffic.  Tips for this and that, tutorials we probably don't need, content created for the sake of creating something... anything to bring in traffic.  I'm not immune to this impulse either, but it's sucked the joy dry.  Only a few blogs pique my interest these days, and on some days not even my own blog makes that list.  In the last few months I've spent more hours than I can count staring at that blinking cursor at the cusp of a blank page.  I want to share things that matter, share my genuine story, make those connections with beautiful human beings.  My favorite part of blogging over the last five years have been those posts where I wrote my honest story and was flooded with comments and emails from people who shared part of my experience, people who thought they were alone, but found through my story that there were others who felt the same way and had been through something similar.  My blogging has slowed considerably from the 5-7 days/week posting schedule I used to adhere to, mostly because I want to create content that isn't just there to keep the numbers up.  I'd rather lose some traffic, but keep the authenticity, and for now I just can't seem to do that and post on a daily basis like I used to.  

Becoming: Woowee.  Or Hippie Dippie.  Or Crunchy.  Whatever you call it.  I'm pretty sure I've stepped off the platform and onto the Woowee train and am headed straight to hippie-ville.  And I kind of love it.  I've realized this recently, after going off of the pill and giving FAM a try, and then having conversations with Dan about Un-schooling our future kids, downloading a meditation app, and practicing yoga, renewing our CSA for 2014, and 100% seriously considering diving into the essential oils thing.  I'm still not into the chakra/crystals level of Woowee-ness, but I do think crystals are pretty and own a few, though I'm not yet on board with their energy auras effecting me.  Coming from a decidedly un-woowee background, I sort of feel like I'm "coming out" of the crunchy closet.  It smells like cedar incense in my closet.

Reading: Aleut Art.  If it sounds like a boring book, it's because it is.  Well, I should say that it's a boring read (very very textbook, archeological mumbo jumbo, science-y), but the content is extremely interesting, at least for me.  I've been really wanting to research more about my Unangan ancestors, and as an artist learning about the artistic traditions and history was something that definitely piqued my interest.  I'm having flashbacks to my Ancient Art History class from my freshman year of college.  Unfortunately, unlike many other ancient cultures, Unangan art history is hard to piece together due to lack of currently available artifacts.  When I bought the book online I initially expected it to be more pictures than words and was pleasantly surprised with the goldmine of knowledge I'd acquired.  Though the reading is dry, I'm enjoying getting to know better the art and culture of my Unangan ancestors.  The next time I'm in Anchorage I'd like to go back to the Alaska Native Heritage center and see if they have any more resources.

Looking forward to: Going on hikes.  I ordered a pair of hiking boots from REI the other night and I can't wait to get them and see if they fit.  I tried on a pair at REI in town but they didn't have a size smaller and I really wanted to make sure I got a good fit, so I ordered a half size smaller pair online.  My new favorite thing to look for at thrift stores is outdoor gear and athletic clothes.  Maybe it's just a PNW thing, but I've found quite a bit of awesome fitness and outdoor gear at thrift stores.  REI pants and coats, Columbia and North Face jackets, Patagonia gear, Prana stuff... it's always super exciting to find something good because that stuff can be super spendy brand new at the store!

Tired of: gender divides in toys for girls and boys.  Not that it's part of my daily life since I don't have kids, but I read a lot about that kind of issue and as I was wandering about the thrift store the other day I came across an aisle set up with toys for girls on one side and boys on the other.  Pink dolls and cooking toys, and then cars and trucks and stuffed dinosaurs.  It took me back to being a kid and constantly being drawn to the toys for boys.  I loved legos and hot wheels and hated dolls and anything pink.  I wanted to be a boy because I felt like being a girl was so lame.  I wanted to wrestle and run around on the playground, not play house and braid hair.  I don't have a lot of hope for the gender divide in toys to be much better by the time I have kids, but I suppose I can give them what I played with most when I was younger: the great outdoors.  Gender neutral as you can get.  (I sound like an old person now don't I... "We didn't have TOYS, we played outside! Jiminy Cricket!")

Proud of: my progress in yoga!  I try to practice at least 3 days/week, which isn't as good as practicing every day (I'm still awful at practicing at home), but I can tell that I'm moving further into certain poses.  I started doing Insanity again at the beginning of January, so it's been a bit harder to maintain flexibility while building muscle with daily workouts, but I'm glad to be balancing out strength building with yoga.  Yesterday I made big progress on my Pincha Mayurasana, which was one of my big goals when I started practicing more frequently.  Now I have to work towards getting more solid in the pose and being able to move away from the security blanket of the wall behind me!