sent a letter out to my VIP list folks last night talking about fear and how I'm learning to rewire my response to fear (sidenote: calling it my "VIP" list feels weird since I consider all of you VIP's, so you guys should come up with a better name for it. I hate the word newsletter, so boring. Ideas? The Brave Report?) I'm excited to lean into fear, rather than recoil. Well, maybe not excited about the fear part, but I'm excited to see where living into fear takes me. I need to do a recap of TxSC because I was so inspired to go for some new dreams that I hadn't even considered, but there are various fears attached with going for new dreams, and I'm not going to let those fears keep me from hunting them down.
One of my big fears is failure, or trying something that ends up not working out (which feels like failure, too). Over the past few years I've hesitated to mention any of my new dreams here on the blog for fear of it not working out or people being disappointed if I don't end up following through. I've been going back through my archives pulling favorite outfits for my #flashbackfriday posts and I was reminded how recklessly open I was about so many dreams, the Brave in particular. So here goes nothing: I'm planning another Brave trip (once you say it, you have to do it right?! Ahhh!). I have weddings to shoot this summer and so I'm tied to Tacoma for the next 6-ish months, but I'm not going to take on any fall/winter weddings after the last one I have booked in October, and I'll have a similar timeline for leaving in the fall like I did 5 years ago. On my first trip I left on Sept 20th and returned Dec 20th, and I'm not sure what the duration of this one will be, but it's definitely planned to be cross-country again, and since it's in the winter (again) I'll be heading south on a similar-ish route as last time to keep warm, though I would like to make it further up the east coast on this trip (maybe hitting NY if it's not too cold?).
Last time my trip was very much an inward journey. It was a healing journey for me and something I needed to do for myself. I needed the trip to fill myself back up after going through my breakup, feeling a bit lost after graduating from college, and wanting to fulfill a lifelong dream. This time, I feel like I want to fill others. I want this trip to give back to people, so I'll be starting a podcast/vlogcast (or both?! I haven't decided!) called The Brave (I'm very clever) and on my journeys I'll be visiting rad chicks who are kicking ass and taking names, inviting them into The Brave studio (i.e. the kitchen table) and chatting with them about life, dreams, confidence, feminism, creativity, and more.
The Brave needs some TLC, she hasn't seen a lot of action in the last few years, so I'm wanting to semi-gut her and give her some new life with a renovation, which I really would love to document here on the blog as well! Last year I ripped out the old brown carpet (it was ugly and not even original) and installed this new flooring, and I also installed a new butcher block countertop, but I'm noticing that it's already warping (anyone else have this problem??), so I might have to re-do that, but hopefully I can salvage it. The windows in the back are pretty leaky and have completely destroyed the wood veneer walls, so I'll probably be gutting the walls and giving it some kind of new treatment. It'd be nice (for both time and money reasons) to not have to completely gut her, but we'll see how far I have to go once I see the extent of the damage and what I can work with.
I'm actually kind of excited about giving her a fresh interior. When I first went on my search for the perfect Brave I was hot and heavy into vintage surfaces and textures. I was a dyed in the wool maximalist in my visual preferences and had a pretty strong penchant for faux wood. I found a winne that was pretty close to original, with a few exceptions, like the carpet and upholstery. Being forced to give her a new look due to water damage gives me a chance to give her a new look that fits my current personal style and I'm excited to see how she ends up looking by the end of the summer! As of now, I know I'll be painting her, reupholstering the rear benches, and making new curtains. The bathroom will probably need new walls, and I definitely need to figure out a way to seal the windows so they don't ruin the walls again.